I do not know how long has been but never have I missed home more than during Durga Puja. Every year. As much as I love to be with myself, enjoy my “me-time”, sometimes it becomes difficult to be alone. It is even more painful … Continue reading Durga Puja
“He is just 28, how can he have it?” said she. “He never took care of himself. ” sighed he. “But, he was always lively and active, energetic on all occasions.” she contradicted. He continued “He never took care of himself, but SHE did, always.” and … Continue reading She
There are days when your inner self is at a war, your lips are sealed but your mind never stops. It just goes on and on and on. They say – nothing haunts us like the words we don’t say, true isn’t it. Your mind … Continue reading Quandary
Change is one the thing that has always dynamically constant. Macroscopically to microscopically, we have been witnessing it time and again. As much as we hate it, but it is unavoidable. I have always been reluctant to change, never have liked it and have never been good at adapting to it. But, you know how it happens and so does change. We all need to bow down to it. No choice you see.
So, it’s been around a few years to it now, it seems like it happened just yesterday. New company, new environment, new experiences, new life style, new demographic, but yet the old me, and hence the problem. Yesterday, you were just on your own but today you are not, laden with responsibilities, expectations and hopes. Oh there comes the pressure, where you have no choice but perform with either minimal or no scope of error. It must be a perfect delivery at all times. That’s too much to handle, I mean at the end of the day, I am the same fragile person, although I might act all mature and sane. Things would eventually affect me too. Honestly, it was not this difficult during the early days but as each day goes by, I feel I am loosing a part of me, I feel a part of me just died. There are times it becomes difficult to breathe, things around me stop making any sense, I just become a piece of meat embedded into the couch. I pull myself out of that place each day, I have cut ties with all those people who were in sync with my thoughts, I have become an escapist. I do not want them to see me like this. So, I just put up a smile and go on. Agony, pain, woe and distress becomes easy to live with with the curve on my face.
It’s December already people, time is flying with light’s speed it seems. With holidays at the corner, the mighty and hopefully a merrier new year just a handful of days away.
Let’s rewind a bit, take a pause and give a moment for all that we have been through this year. Let’s be sorry for the mistakes and make a promise not to repeat them, learn from our failures, thankful for the blessings, happy for the accomplishments, tearful with the loses ,content, satisfied, and moreever feel blessed to have the basic necessities of livelihood.
We are so busy running our errands that we hardly give a quality thought of events in and around us, hence taking this as a golden opportunity, let’s also take time to pray for those who have been a blessing in disguise – directly or indirectly. We must seek enough strength for those who face hardships in each moment of their life, peace be it mental, physical or environmental seems a long lost plan for them. Let’s just seek enough courage so that they can sail though marvelously.
I am not sure why did I choose to call it Ho! Ho! May be Santa, Christmas is in the air. But, then isn’t it the whole idea of Santa, spread joy, bring a smile. May be I am way too early, but it always worthy to be wishful, hopeful, optimistic, expectant and sanguine.
So believe in yourself , measure your actions, accept your flaws, forgive who cause pain, learn from past and keep moving.
Be humble, keep smiling. Spread the joy.
As a kid, I was always very intrigued when I saw Popeye, the sailor man with the spinach can!, with his pipe and that scarf around his neck, Olive and Bluto together on the idiot box. There was this strong and effective theory , spinach gives strength, strength to negate all the hurdles and troubles. You eat a can and boom, it all goes away. And, Popeye was a sailor, I have always wondered sailors with that white cap and the pipe, until a few years back when I met the real sailor. But yet, there was this small wish in one of the microscopic cells of my body, to have a sailor and me being his Olive. And guess what, I have my sailor tag ready, I am going to sail this Friday. No, no I am not being Popeye, I will play Olive with my one and only his highness.
I cannot believe it, another one checked off the bucket list. Yayyy!!!
A-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah! ― Popeye’s Laugh
Goochy goo. — Olive
I have always been an introvert, but with my gang I am an extrovert, always. Yes, I have a close knit, they are just amazing in their own ways, each one distinct from the other but the one thing they have in common is a good soul. We are all now grown ups, have our share of responsibilities, our share of struggles, our ups and downs, we are all handling the 'situations' on our own, with our conscience. It is not that we don't want to stay in touch on a regular basis, we do, but then each one of us is busy clearing our own plates. I have never been good at handling multiple things at the same time, since the time my life has sort of changed, I have literally given no time to the that part of my life, which was once my LIFE. I so REGRET it.
Why I don't do anything to change it? I have asked this question to myself a zillions of times, the answer which satisfies my agony is I took a vow that I am gonna share his share of miseries and responsibilities, and the misery part has sort of become a daily affair, so much that it sort of made me an escapist, and in order to fulfil that I think I have sort of cheated on myself, my people, my coterie and even on some level my parents, my mother was supposed to be my best friend until death do us apart. I am sorry for that but then I am following the values they imbibed in me. I am not even sure what sort of person does that make me? Hope I get in charge of the situation soon.
But, not digressing too much, I would just like to take up this time to thank my people for always being there for me, I know that they are bit disappointed in me right now but I am having their back in this lifetime throughout and they have mine. They are my assets, now and forever.
Happy friendship day.